Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sweet Leaf Lemon Iced Tea - Sunday, November 13th

The Irish have a saying. Well, they have many sayings but there's one I enjoy in particular. It goes:

"What butter and whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for."

As a man (and product) of science, I should fundamentally disagree with this on all levels. Managing my anxiety takes nigh grams of anti-anxiety drugs. You could have slathered the two onto my spine for all eternity but the only thing that would have cured that was a bone saw and a skilled doctor. But still...I love this phrase. And, for maladies that don't require a doctor's intervention, I find them a potent mixture of comfort and abatement of pain. But it's missing something.


They should change that phrase and every Brit knows to the marrow of their bones that they should. A healthy cup of tea (with or without whiskey, cream, or sugar) is a failsafe cure-all in the British Isles and I agree heartily. When I'm sick with a cold, flu, headache, or whatever, I reach for two things: over the counter medicine and a whole lot of tea.

As it stands now, I'm rather sick so I've been quaffing tea down like a madman. Not the primo stuff because that would be wasted on my jam-packed nasal cavities. But cheap, strong cups of tea with milk and honey (an amended Builder's Tea) and iced tea when I'm just plain parched. I've been going through canned iced tea when I need a break from the tongue-scorching and I've been prowling the stores for new offerings. Sweet Leaf Lemon Iced Tea is NOT a new offering, however; I remember picking up a bottle of this when I was but a wee lad. Maybe my tastes have changed since then but I remember finding it not so hot back then. Nowadays, it's some pretty solid stuff. Here it is, in all the granny glory:

Frankly, this is not a can (or bottle) of tea to pick up if you have a fever or are on any significant dosage of Nyquil. That granny is SCARY. Look at that.

"They will never find your body, dearie..."
I mean, just...GAHHHHHHHH. Those eyes bore into my goddamn soul. I'm finding a trend in canned tea of ludicrous can decorations that can just be downright chilling. C'mon labeling artists. Buck up and gimme a friendly granny holding a plate of cookies (complete with heat lines coming off the top) and a glass of tea. Not Franken-Nanny.

The good news is the tea is pretty solid. They don't use HFCS or any other gross crap like that so it's a pretty easy drinker that doesn't leave your mouth like a oil slick. I'd be a bit happier if they toned down on the lemon and/or boosted the tea flavor but that's just me. I remember when I was younger I didn't like it because it wasn't sweet enough. I am downright Southern when it comes to my iced tea. I prefer an hellion brew of super strong tea cradled and swaddled in liquid diabeetus. But maybe it's my stuffy nose talking though.

Anyway, creeper granny aside, I'm feeling better already. If I put some whiskey into it and make it a buttered, fortified iced tea, I should be good in no time.


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